The dreaded 30 Percent

So I would find myself in the middle of a corporate social event.  I would try to walk around and try to speak to the other attendees, but I would invariably find that I could not sustain a conversation with most of the people there.  These were middle to upper managers, many of whom had spent years at this company, and who had worked their way up from the ground floor.  So what was wrong with me that I could not develop relationships with them.  Hey, I could act silly or smart alecky and get a little attention, but that was it.

I thought I had a problem that caused me to not fit in.  It caused me to really question whether I could ever be a leader, and what was wrong with my personality that these guys did not want to invest in me.

After a while I quit trying.  I also quit trying to get ahead, as I always found myself in competition with people I now considered myself inferior to.  I ended up leaving after finding out that my hard work was for the most part unnoticed in comparison to others.

Perhaps I did have some things wrong with me - some flaws in my personality.  But as I look back over the time, I realize that these businessmen did not have the time, energy or desire to invest in me because of the need to invest in their own problems and their own desires.  It was less about me, and more about their station in life.  Yes, it hurt me at the time, but as I look back, if I had known that it was not a problem with me, I perhaps would have had an easier time relating.  Also, without the self consciousness that comes from feelings of rejections, I may have actually served a role in helping someone feel more value in that competitive environment.

The bottom line is this - somewhere around 30% of the people you interact have little to no desire to form a positive bond with you.  Maybe you have some issues, but more likely, they have other things in their life that make this not a good time for relationships.  Before you beat yourself up with the idea that you are not worthy, what if you just decide "I am worth it", and quit worrying about what these folks think.  Your self assurance may open doors to service you never saw before - and the rewards that come with this service!

Thoughts?