How do Wisdom and Selling go together?

Welcome to Wisdom Selling. So if you are like me, you are always wanting to learn more. Well here is the deal about selling. It is the desire to exchange something you have, for something of more value to you. You may have an idea, a product, a service which people will want to pay for, allowing you to make a profit. You have to seek out people who might want it, and convince them it is worth the price you are charging. Or like me, you may just have a little wisdom, and are looking for someone who values it enough to want to use it. My value received in return is the joy of your feedback. So, I am selling wisdom. The cost to you, your interest. I want to help others as well. Visit the links page and shop for some good deals. Any profits on money you spend there will be used by Wisdom Selling to support non-profit businesses in developing their strategies.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

What do you do when everyone doesn’t like you?

Do you think you could stand it if everyone in the world liked you?  Imagine the pressure to remember names, spouses, interests and hobbies for all the people you come into contact with.

Life would be so simple if we could view the world that way.  In other words, that life is easier by having some people not be a match for us.  However, for most of us that is not the case.  We live our lives under the burden of those people who do not like us or who do not want to have a connection with us.   Why is it more important to us that we had a negative experience with someone that that we had so many positive ones.

I used to be so scared of people that I could hardly function.  I worried that each interaction was a place for someone to make me feel worse about myself by rejecting me in some way.  What a prison that can be.  Do you ever worry about this?  Have you experienced a situation where someone rejected you or did not want to interact with you?

This happens quite frequently in business.  We have prospects who don’t want to buy from us and we take it personally.  We have a boss who just doesn’t connect with us and promotes those with whom he does.  We have suppliers that walk all over us trying to use intimidation to tilt the negotiations.  We have peers that are competing with us for the next promotion.  It can be quite overwhelming if we let it.

The problem with this line of thinking is that it causes us to miss the positives that are going on around us, and which make up the majority of our interactions.  I decided a few years ago that there had to be something better for me.  Therefore, I began an informal, where I decided to take a positive approach with everyone I met, and see what kind of reactions I got. 

Turns out that only about 70% of those I talked to were interested in responding.  30% of those I talked to either cut me off, or demonstrated irritation or just tolerated me then moved on as soon as they could.  Now, you could say that I have some communications challenges or personality issues.  That is what I used to think. What I believe now is that there is a large group of people out there I can connect with if I go seek them out.

The last time you checked, was 70% more than 30%?  Of course it is.  Now for the hard question.  Is the value of the positive feedback from the 70% greater than the impact of the negative feedback of the 30%?  The answer to this is the 70% Solution.  If you can accept that this greater percentage of people is going to connect with you, you are freed up to remove the fear from your interactions.  You can pursue relationships and celebrate the ones you get, while understanding those you don’t.

Now, this does not mean the 30% are bad people. They just have a different 70%.  It also does not mean you will never connect with them, but you may have to use a different approach, and be very patient while understanding it may never happen.

I encourage you to consider the implications of this line of thinking.  If you are sincere and reach out to people you have a high likelihood of being rewarded.  If you are yourself on the sales call or in your company interactions, you will have some success you didn’t expect.  You will not have the burden of pretending to be something you aren’t to connect to those you can’t.

Go out there and begin to talk to people freely.  See for yourself what happens as a result.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks Chris! I've been struggling with this at work recently. Fear of rejection, and the negativity that fear manifests itself in my attitude and interactions, has twisted me up in the head recently. Today will be a new beginning for me and my approach towards battling those emotions! Thanks for the positive message!
    Looking forward,