Faith or Fear? A teachable moment for Eli!

Sorry it has been a few days.  Been travelling a bit.

So today is the big day - my youngest son's first football game.  He is playing on the line both ways and loves it in practice.  He can take the physical side no problem, but is still learning how to give the big hit, though.  Last night he was quite tired, but got up after he went to bed to come ask me - Do you think I am going to do good tomorrow?  Wow.  What an opportunity for me to have a teachable moment, and I hope to spend some time on that this morning with him.  He cares alot about what I think, as I have come to every practice to support him when I could, and every time he makes a good play, he gives me a thumbs up and I do back.  When he gets hurt, I let him cry, but push him to get back in the game.  He is going to be a good football player.

Yet, here it is before the first game, and he is still wondering if I think he is going to do well.  Is he afraid?  Perhaps.  Doubting?  Perhaps.  Is there anything wrong with feeling this way? I hope not, because I felt the same way this week in other circumstances.

Eli is teetering on the faith versus fear border.  It is funny because there is not much difference between the two.  My friend Caz McCaslin put it this way: the definition of each of these words is the same - the belief that something you cannot see, is going to happen.   Eli cannot see the results of the game tomorrow.  Will he go to the game with the attitude of fear - I believe I am going to fail, or is he going to go with the attitude of faith - I believe I am going to do well?  The evidence from his practices says he will do well.  However, the things we cannot see but only imagine - these are the things that historically have been our fears, not our builders of faith - especially as children.  So as you can imagine, my goal is to have him approach the game with the faith that his hard work and natural abilities will provide him with success.  But even if he doesn't have success, the expectation of success is much more fulfilling than the expectation of failure.   Wish me luck.

It is interesting that this feeling does not go away for me after all these years.  After writing all these blog posts, I still had to deal with the feelings this week.  I had the opportunity to represent my company on capitol hill this week in Washington, DC, where I ended up rubbing elbows with congressmen, chiefs of staff, former professional athletes and directors of various agencies, in support of youth sports.

I had a 30% moment on the way.  I began to doubt myself, and my ability to communicate in a world so different than mine.  Surely this world is full of people who won't care to meet me, and who have no interest in meeting m, hearing what I have to say, or dare I say it - MIGHT NOT LIKE ME.   I began to doubt my abilities, and more importantly who I was as a person. 

I had to pull myself together, and I began to challenge myself as to whether I really believed this stuff about the 70% solution and how it can help me be a more effective friend and communicator.  I thought back over some of the things I had written, and began to commit to myself to put into practice on a new stage, what I have talked about.  So I chose,(note - a decision), to go with faith over fear.

I arrive at the first meeting which is a lunch.  I walk in to tables full of people I don't know.  I see a table with two African-American gentlemen and a Hispanic couple, all talking football.  Why not?  So I say, hey if this table is talking football, this is where I need to be.  They invite me to join them, and I end up having a great conversation with two former Washington Redskins players, and a director of a sports organization in Chicago.  Great lunch and got autographs for Eli.

To make a long story short, had a great visit, got invited to meetings with directors from two agencies in the future, chatted about child sports with a congressman from NC who may be a great advocate for us, walked around the Senate building and met assistants with the two South Carolina Senators, asked and was invited into several cool briefing rooms in the House building, walked around the capitol by myself, and just felt a peace that I did not expect to have.  Were there some 30% people who acted as if they could care less if I lived or died.  Yep, more than a few.  If I had approached the meetings with fear, these persons would have potentially robbed me of the joy of my meeting so many interesting people.

I hope I can convey this to Eli, and I hope it makes a difference in your life today.