Why should people care what I think?

Sat around yesterday for a while with the poo bird on my bottom lip.  For those of you who don't know what that is, it is one of those annoying behaviors people have.  A person is pouting, and the antagonist says, "The poo bird is going to land on that lip", and tries to put two fingers down on the lip like a bird landing.  Ridiculous except for the fact that I have done it to others many times.

I was pouting because I had done some clever posting (I thought) and no one had responded.  I had even set up a contest to allow someone to get a free book of wisdom from Barney Fife.  Who wouldn't want that?  Well, as the day went on and no one had any comments or found the book on my store site for free, I began to wonder about all the things I say to people.  Does anyone really care about what I think?

Hey, this is a question we all could ask ourselves at one time or another.  We feel like there is knowledge or wisdom in our heart just bursting to get out, and there is no one there to receive it.  After a while, if we are not careful we just get to the point where we don't even want to communicate anything.  You know, however, if I were to succumb to the issues of what of what other people think about me, I would be going against the dictates of my first book, The 70 Percent Solution (of which I was giving away two yesterday!).

I have observed recently that there is an imbalance in the force, so to speak.  People who I have come in contact with (the other people, not you who are reading this) seem so interested in getting their stuff out, that there is very little capacity for taking info in.  This has created in me two different feelings, which are colliding with each other regularly.  The first feeling is the one I felt above - "when is someone going to listen to me?" but the second is "This person really needs someone to listen to them." 

It is sobering to realize how rampant that need is.  People want to be listened to.  They are so full of knowledge, thoughts and feelings that no one seems to have time to hear, that they almost bust trying to get it all out when the opportunity arises.  They will talk about themselves, their families and their problems to almost anyone who stops and takes the time to focus on them.

Think about the implications of this in your different roles.  For example, in your family relationships.  Are you listening with focus?  Are you seeing who in your family is hungry to be heard?  What about at your work?  Do you really take time to listen to the person, or are you evaluating content constantly for value?  And what about those you serve, such as your customers?  Are you constantly steering conversations to the things you want to talk about? Are you willing to invest in the person or just the sale?

The downside of this line of questioning is it requires us to deal with the fact that if we invest in listening, the return might not be in being heard.  It might just be the knowledge that the other person received the gift of being listened to.

 I hate that.  I want my listeners and I want them now!!!!!!!!! 

Well now that my little tantrum is over, I am refreshed and ready to listen to whatever you have to say.  Oh, and if you want to have people read your posts, don't put them up at 10:45 AM.  Who looks at Facebook then?  And - the book is still out there.  Click up top on thebyrdstore link and find it first.

Listen for the benefit of others today.  You might just get enough joy to overcome not being listened to.

Are you making memories or meaning in your life?

I am reading a great book - "Mentor like Jesus" by Regi Campbell.  In it, he talks about how memories fade away, but meaning stays forever.  You can take a child on a vacation to DisneyWorld and they will forget much of what they do that day, but the message you are sending as a parent is priceless.  It makes a meaningful impact.  Mentoring is a way to make a meaningful impact by pouring your life into others. 

Memories are nice for a season.  For example, I have a picture of a golf green in Scotland with a ball sitting four feet from the hole.  It has significant memory for me, but when I die picture will likely be thrown away.  However, I have taught my sons to play golf, and that will have meaning forever.

I don't want to steal too much of Regi's thunder, but I do have a copy of his book available for purchase at thebyrdstore.

Oh... the memory of that photo?  Here it is:

There I was.  On the tee box of the most beautiful and interesting course I had ever played.  Old Prestwick, in Scotland.  It was the home of the first British Open.  Old Tom Morris was the greens keeper, and the trophy for “The Open” as it is now called was named after him.

On one side is the Irish Sea.  Along the golf course western edge is a walkway used by the residents of Prestwick as they go from the train station to the town’s edge, or as they plan to visit the beach for a day in the sun.  It meanders in and out of the dunes, right up onto the edge of the course.  If a golfer is particularly bad, they can take out a slower pedestrian. 

The golf course is right on the edge of the town, and when you park there, you are able to walk anywhere in the town you would like to go.  Pubs as far as the eye can see, full of delightful foods and even a bit of Guinness draught poured the correct way (don’t be in a hurry)!  The numerous selections certainly make choosing the 19^th hole a challenge for the golfers each day. 

From the parking lot you pass by the caddies, waiting for the Americans to arrive, wanting the walking experience, but too lazy to carry their own bags.  I of course, was forced to carry my bag, since I was playing with my boss who always carries his.  They were nice enough, but you could see in their eyes that questioning look of what kind of skill level these guys from America might have that they don’t need their help.

When you tee off on the first hole, the right side of the fairway bumps up against the railway tracks.  Oh yes, over there the trains run all the time, and they are fair game for the errant drive.  Fortunately, we were able to get off the first tee without any permanent damage to the community.

The course is not very long.  As you might imagine, with the boundaries defined forever, there was little chance of making the course challenging to the professional golfers of today.  The old wooden play club, spoons, niblicks and scrapers would have been fun to play and experience the real test of the course, but with our modern technology we were driving over and around much of the historic trouble spots.

My score was pretty good for the front nine – the out.  You know, in the old days, the first nine holes went away from the clubhouse and the back nine in, that is why you see out and in on the scorecard.  Coming in, I lost my hearing in one ear for a while, carelessly standing right next to it while ringing the bell for the par 3 that indicates all clear. 

The match is back and forth through the last few holes until we arrived at the 18^th tee box, which is where this story began.   The hole is about three hundred and fifty yards, with a slight bend to the right.  On the right side of the fairway is the long gorse grass that is the bain of any golfer’s existence.  My boss hits a nice drive out to the middle, and is in good position to win the hole and the match.  I decide right then and there that I am going for it.  The hole was a little shorter if you hit right over the gorse.  Anything goes wrong, however, and the match is likely over.  I wind up with my youthful limber back and give it the swing of a lifetime.  The ball lifts off like a model rocket aimed at the clubhouse (did I mention the green was right by the clubhouse and right in front of the caddie shack?).  It is a long moment before the evidence is clear.  This shot has a good chance of getting to the green.  At last the ball lands and begins to roll.  Across the fairway it scoots.  Arriving at the green it continues its journey, tracking toward the hole.  For one unbelievable moment it appears like the ball might go into the hole.  Going just a bit too fast, it hits the flagstick and bounces away about four feet.

Yes, I did do it.  I danced on the tee box in front of my boss.

Now we had to walk to the fairway, wait on him to hit and then proceed toward the inevitable praise from the small group of wise, knowledgeable caddies standing by the green.  When I arrived, there was silence.  Nothing.  I guess they needed more proof that I was the world’s greatest golfer at that moment.  Only four feet to go for this miraculous eagle and victory.

So, do you think I made the putt?

Where the heck are you going?

If you are a guy like me, you have inevitably heard those words as you take the exit beyond the one you intended to take, and rather than re-enter the interstate and go back one exit, you turn on your internal GPS and start your cross country small road attempt to end up where you intended to go.  In your mind you know exactly where you expect to end up, and it is not your fault if if those with you can't see it.  In fact, they may know exactly where you are trying to go as well, but just can't see it from the route you are taking.

Our natural response?  "Just be quiet, I know what I am doing."  Ha!  I have had to stop more than once and ask as a result of having set off in a direction that seemed right at the time but put me in a place where no road seemed to get nearer to my goal.

Oul lives our companies and our ministries can experience the same situations, and we as leaders cannot afford the luxury of just turning and trying any old road with the expectation it will take us where we want to go, without the support of those along for the ride with us.  Sometimes the wise move is to turn around and go back to the interstate, but sometimes that way is not open to us and we have to keep going in a direction we think will take us toward the goal.

I have two pieces of advice for you this morning.  First, you need to communicate clearly to those riding with you why you are going the direction you are headed, and make sure they understand as well your level of certainty.  It is ok for those with you to leave breadcrumbs for the possibility of backtracking, but they need to be on board with the direction and the risk.  After all, you are the leader.  Take the time to talk about things in a positive but realistic manner.  You never expect to lose, do you?  However, you may have to change the gameplan a little to ensure success.

My second piece of advice is be willing to stop and ask for direction.  A small bit of tweaking to a plan can in some cases redirect you back toward the goal, rather than allowing you to move further away, and eventually forcing a backtrack.  Consider having a mentor who will give you feedback from his or her experiences.  Also, consider having someone audit your plans and from the outside critique the direction based on your goals. 

Visit WisdomSelling.com for more thoughts on this idea.

Help out my friend Ailton. Shop at thebyrdstore.com and all sales this week will go to his ministry in Brazil

Here is his story.

 

Hello friends,

I'm living some special experiences here in Sao Jose as urban missionary and I'd like to share to you. 

In this week I took my ball and went to a basketball court in a poor area to practicing some plays.  That is a dangerous area such as gangs area, and was interesting the reaction of kids to seeing me lonly play basketball. They closed to me and asked me to play together, was awesome teach them some skills and drills, the most of them never had held a basketball before. Nobody play basketball on that court so they was happy in play with me. 

After some time I got away and went walking around of neighborhood with my ball. I walked for about one hour I could see some points of traffic of drugs, gang places, people buying and selling drugs and many kids on the streets. But what called my attention was the reaction of the kids on the streets, several of them said: "Look at that guy, he plays basketball, wow!". I felt like a celebrity! This was amazing because some of them asked about where I played, and if I could do some play like spin the ball on the fingers and things like that. I came back home with a sensation of the fields are ready to harvest here. 

Another day I was training in a basketball court in my neighborhood at 8 pm and a boy asked to training with me. He said that nobody use that court to play basketball and kids use drugs there, some minutes later we could feel the smell of marihuana in the air.

I need confess that as pastor I never had walked for location like that and pay attention to the great opportunity to reach the kids in this places. I've felt a special calling of God to preaching the gospel on the courts. In this city many kids that not go to the churches are in this places ready to being reach for men that carry a ball in the hands and a message in their heart.

I wanna be that man, with a ball and a message. And you?

In Christ,

Ailton Tertuliano

Would you lie to make a six-figure Deal?

My wife and I were watching a new and interesting show on TV about a group of guys who sell million dollar real estate.  It seems like their total focus was on making the deal, and their commissions were upwards of six figures on some deals.  These guys let the cameras follow them around during their listing processes, their sales methods and their social lives.  They gave of a strong sense of being willing to do about anything to make a sale.  Just no real set of distinct guidelines for character except as needed to get the deal done.

So this one guy has a listing that he plans to put a special push on and he begins making calls to his major clients.  To each one he uses the same lines, like:  I am calling you first, you are my most important customer, of course I called you first, etc.  Each time he was filmed on the phone he was spinning some message to please the customer, each an obvious exaggeration or outright lie.

Now, this may seem like a personal preference of the agent that I should just accept, but my son was also in the room, watching the show off and on as we admired the different huge houses.  I had to stop and tell him that these lies the guy was telling were not acceptable, and that we should never behave like that.  Well, that is the right thing to say, isn't it? 

However, I immediately had a gut check time.  Would I ever use any sort of falsehood to make a deal?  While now I can safely say I would not, I cannot say my entire sales career was lie free.  I live with the regret of some of what I recall, but I am sure there are lots of times I made a small point that was untrue that I don't even remember.  Ouch - seeing it from the outside in was so distasteful!

I watched this guy with amazement as he had no concerns at all about the viewing public see him do this.  I also had to wonder if he thought these people he was talking to would never watch the show.  What would he say if they called to challenge him on this?  Would he even care?  In today's culture this behavior is being glorified, filmed and shown as entertainment.  Good Grief.

So as you are reading this, is there anything coming to mind that you might need to deal with from the past or for the future.  I encourage you to at least privately consider it and make a decision on your deals in the future.  Win with honesty or not at all?  Easily said, but challenging to implement.  Good luck!

Leadership 101- the lesson of the 72

Wise Leadership - Could you send your employees out as confidently as these men went out?

  1 The Lord now chose seventy-two other disciples and sent them ahead in pairs to all the towns and places he planned to visit.

2 These were his instructions to them: “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest ask him to send more workers into his fields.

3 Now go, and remember that I am sending you out as lambs among wolves.

4 Don’t take any money with you, nor a traveler’s bag, nor an extra pair of sandals. And don’t stop to greet anyone on the road. 

5 “Whenever you enter someone’s home, first say, ‘May God’s peace be on this house.’

6 If those who live there are peaceful, the blessing will stand if they are not, the blessing will return to you.

7 Don’t move around from home to home. Stay in one place, eating and drinking what they provide. Don’t hesitate to accept hospitality, because those who work deserve their pay. 

8 If you enter a town and it welcomes you, eat whatever is set before you.

9 Heal the sick, and tell them, ‘The Kingdom of God is near you now.’

10 But if a town refuses to welcome you, go out into its streets and say,

11 ‘We wipe even the dust of your town from our feet to show that we have abandoned you to your fate. And know this—the Kingdom of God is near!’

12 I assure you, even wicked Sodom will be better off than such a town on judgment day

13 “What sorrow awaits you, Korazin and Bethsaida! For if the miracles I did in you had been done in wicked Tyre and Sidon, their people would have repented of their sins long ago, clothing themselves in burlap and throwing ashes on their heads to show their remorse.

14 Yes, Tyre and Sidon will be better off on judgment day than you.

15 And you people of Capernaum, will you be honored in heaven? No, you will go down to the place of the dead.

16 Then he said to the disciples, “Anyone who accepts your message is also accepting me. And anyone who rejects you is rejecting me. And anyone who rejects me is rejecting God, who sent me.”

17 When the seventy-two disciples returned, they joyfully reported to him, “Lord, even the demons obey us when we use your name

18 “Yes,” he told them, “I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning!

19 Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you.

20 But don’t rejoice because evil spirits obey you rejoice because your names are registered in heaven.”

Pay attention to what Christ said to the disciples he sent out. He told them basically that there were going to be those who accepted them and those who did not.

Perhaps a reference to the 70%?

In any case, you see that He told them not to lose hope due to the ones who rejected him. He also told them to focus on those that accepted them, and to build relationships with them and explain how the Kingdom is at hand. For the ones who did not accept them it was going to be brief.  He told them not to waste time on them, but to quickly move on.

I think sometimes we get caught up in the long term stress of trying to change the thoughts of those who reject us, and it becomes a stumbling block to us, as we keep a won/lost record. We won’t give up. Jesus told these guys to give up fast and move on.  He would deal with the consequences. We have to let go sometimes, so that we do not miss the opportunities that await us among the willing. Does this mean we give up on witnessing to those who mean a lot to us? Of course not, but we cannot let the challenges there discourage us with those out there we can influence. We stay the course because we love them, not because we feel like a failure if we don't persuade them.

Sounds easy, doesn't it? But when we fail with those we love, it can be devastating, can't it? Feel bad if you must, but don't quit!  The seventy-two experienced such a joy in their successes that they came back worshiping and praising God!

Story Telling Value - the Good Samaritan example

My pastor gave a sermon yesterday, and he was talking about the story of the Good Samaritan.  I got to thinking about the example Jesus showed of how to do explaining in a compelling manner.  Yes, you can talk with facts and data, but sometimes the stories can be more effective.  You use your relating skills to tell a story that makes a more compelling argument than a fact based explanation.  The problem sometimes is that the 30 Percenters can tie you up in a fact based argument that will take you to a point that you no longer have the facts to convince.  Then you can get on the defensive and make things worse.         

Take a look at this series of verses from Luke 10.           

25 One day an expert in religious law stood up to test Jesus by asking him this question: “Teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life?”             

26 Jesus replied, “What does the law of Moses say? How do you read it?”                      

27 The man answered, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”             

28 “Right!” Jesus told him. “Do this and you will live!”                      

29 The man wanted to justify his actions, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”             

Parable of the Good Samaritan             

30 Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling on a trip from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road.                      

31 “By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by.

32 A Temple assistant[d] walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.                      

33 “Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him.

34 Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him.

35 The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins,[e] telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’                      

36 “Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked.              

37 The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.” Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”           

The guy could not even say the word Samaritan, but he knew he was busted!  Think about your story telling ability.  Have you ever said, I can't tell stories?  Well you can tell stories about yourself all day long if you just practice, and commit to try.  And here is the cool part.  No one can argue your personal story, no matter how many facts they have.  Jesus knew what he was doing when he used this story! 

Perspective - how it is our friend and enemy in relationships

So I taught college Sunday school this week. The topic was moral relativism. I passed out different kinds of nails to each group of two or three and asked them not to show each other. I told them, “This is your truth.”  After that, I went to the whiteboard and asked each of them to help me draw the nail. The discussion was interesting as each had different size heads, lengths, scoring, etc. Finally, one of the exasperated students said, “Depending on our truth, the nail will look very different.” AH HA! She got it!

So the first part of the message was that if everyone has a different truth, there is no one real truth, as everyone has their own, and they can be entirely different.  Then I took one nail, and had three different people draw it on the board.  Each time I told them it was wrong, since they drew a side view. I then showed them the right way to draw it was looking straight at the nail point, basically two concentric circles and a dot for the point. What I was trying to get across is that even when we have the same truth, it is viewed from our own perspective, which is based on lots of factors from our childhood and adult experiences and learning. 

So, when we are explaining to others about stuff, whether they are knowledgeable or not, they are going to have a perspective. If it is business, they will have paradigms from their past, if it is scripture, it will be affected by past learning’s as well as their opinions in general.  Perspective can hurt our attempts to explain as we find out they are seeing a completely different truth, or if they view truth from a much different point of view than we do.

That is why relating is so very important as a partner to explaining. Relating helps us to discover the perspective of others. This knowledge can impart wisdom as to whether you are even on the same page as the other person, much less the same sentence.   Relating can prevent serious interpersonal barriers from forming as others get defensive as to their position. Relating can show us when explaining is not a good idea at the time. It all works together!

Does Search Engine Marketing Matter to a Church?

Does Search Engine Marketing Matter to a Church?

Chris Byrd, Wisdom Selling

Your church has great opportunities to take advantage of the internet to grow your ministries.  Check out the link at the bottom for one opportunity coming up this weekend.

Persons new to your community are most likely now to search for a church on the internet first, before visiting around.  Therefore a website is a must for a growing church.  Once you have a site, though, you want people to find it.  Search Engine Optimization can be a very valuable tool for a church to use if the goal of the church is to be the first church identified by a seeker when searching on-line for a church.  Google, Yahoo, Bing and other Search Engines (answer providers) are always looking to provide the most relevant information to their customers.  This is how they justify their fees to advertisers.  Therefore, they are always going to do their best to Search all the websites and other information on the internet to find the best answers to questions that might be asked.

The formulas they use are always changing, as websites try to beat the system and get more notice.  For example, websites began buying text links from each other to appear more widely accepted.  Therefore, the search engines had to put restrictions on text links to keep the information credible.  However, there are many legitimate ways to increase the value of your presence on the web, which is the process of optimizing your site to be favorable to search engines.   In doing so, you create greater likelihood of being found by those in your community looking on –line for information about churches.

Search Engine Marketing has different methods to it, depending on your goals.  There are search goals that focus on relevance by location.  There are others that focus on relevance by keyword.  There are other marketing methods when you want to advertise events, messages or other saleable items.  A good webhosting provider will have these resources available to you.  OurChurch.com is a great webhosting provider, with the extra benefits of being one of the larger webhosting sites focused entirely on Churches and Christian Businesses.  This allows them to understand more fully the search engine needs of churches relative to geography (being the top of the list in your zip code, for example) and relative to keywords (childrens programs, etc).  Regardless of where your site is hosted, they can help.

There are fees for Search Engine Optimization, as there are real people doing real work to make this happen, but OurChurch.com is very competitive as they realize the needs and assets of the market in which they work.  If you would like more information about this very valuable support, email me at chrisbyrd@wisdomselling.com.  You can learn more about this as well by visiting http://marketing.ourchurch.com/marketing-church-marketing-services.php .

Thank you for taking the time to read this information.  Here is the link I recommend for you. 

http://blog.ourchurch.com/2011/05/03/14-ways-to-learn-live-lead-and-leverage-your-faith-for-internet-evangelism-day/